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HeinekenExportABV 5% • Vol 330 ml • bottle • Netherlands • Mid-price • Flavour 3
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Practically indistinguishable from Bud. Perhaps slightly more to it - a smoky texture is probably a slight exaggeration, but after drinking other tasteless mass-market lagers, you might see what we mean. Otherwise uniformly bland and dreadful - which is a shame when you consider that a subsidiary of Heineken brews such delights as Wieckse Witte. OBBD reviewer: Sparks |
Review updated 08 October 1998
I think this is a very good beer.
Arco Blanken
I think it's the best beer of the world HEERLIJK HELDER HEINEKEN.
Thijs van der Spek
Good image for quite good beer. It would be better if it was good beer for quite good image.
Ivars Krafts
A good stepping stone beer. If Americans are open to trying this beer than the rest of the beer
world is only a matter of time away. That is the path I took. Busch to Bud to Heiniken to Paualner- then enlightenment. I won't knock anyone drinking this beer, because there is hope!
Dustin Alcorn
I would agree with you Dustin, a gateway beer. At most rural Midwest bars this is considered the expensive stuff that snobs drink. At least it starts to tell you there is more out there. Next step - Becks, Becks Dark. Then Original Munich. Still a good beer to consume mass amounts, ice cold during 95 degree weather at an all day softball tournament.
Darren Dieterich
A straightforward lager with limited, uni-dimensional taste. A slight hint of floral hops, but otherwise unimpressive.
David Levine
I THINK IT IS THE BEST AND I WILL LIKE TO HAVE A T-SHIRT.
Fernando Zelaya
Agreed - it's a step above Bud, but not far. I'm still trying to figure out why it has such a 'premium' connotation here in the US...must be because of its competition.
Matt Azzara
Heineken stinks-- take it from this Dutchman who has seen the river it's made from!
Dave
Barely drinkable. Chalk it up there with Busch and Bud, and a better gateway beer would be something with flavor, try Warsteiner or a more common beer like good old Sam Adams (a better alternative than Bud when you can't get Chimay or Schneider Aventinus).
beer baron
The greatest beer on this planet.
xander
Much better than any American mass market lager but not Europe's finest and scoffed at by real beer lovers the world over.
Coyle
It's really unbelivable people have made this stuff...it doesn't deserve the name Beer...Try Alfa Beer. This beer is made in Schinnen (The Netherlands). It's really the best beer I've ever drunk.
Bart
This my faver-right beer, I luv it so much that I've had it tattooed onto my belly. It looks great when I'm wobbling it about to my friends and family.
BOOZE MASTER
This beer rulez. Freddy (r.i.p.) is a hero and every beer drikin' man should have a picture of him and his multinational company symbol hanging above his bed.
Stephan
A very poor mass-produced lager. I can't understand the reason of its popularity.
Fabio
Heineken is very nearly synonymous with appalling beer. Really a desperation choice in a pub and NEVER out of a can! Export is very marginally nicer than the plain stuff, but what is inexplicable is that its really not half bad when served on tap on the continent. Are they trying to put the British off?! Or do they just think we like crap beer?
C. Nairne
Heineken isn't realy that great, for Dutch beers I like Amstel better! Really a shame cuz the company indeed produces very good witbier: Wieckse Witte.
Guido
Over priced, under flavored. Not as crisp and bitter as Beck's. You're not as likely to find a skunky Heine as you are a Beck's though. Sold to yuppies who want to drink, "An Import" but don't know any better.
Joel IV - Houston, Texas
Boring macro brew - but not undrinkable if no alternatives are given.
Sigmund
Feeble, cheap and nasty stuff. More like cat's piss than beer.
Fulcanelli
Heineken 5% abv is far superior to boring bud. I wish it was more widely available in the UK on draught like Carlsberg and Stella.
paul turner
Nice aroma when you first open the bottle. Taste is pleasant but run of the mill. Dry aftertaste with slighly fruity overtones. Nothing to send the tastebuds into a spin but nothing to say this is a bad beer-just an ordinary one.
john doughty
I agree that it's not the best beer mother earth has created for us. But it still is something that makes most of the Dutch proud. Personally I prefer Croatian beers and Amstel 1870.
Jeroen
People in the Midwest either drink it for an image, or the skunk like aroma. I drink it for the skunk like aroma. Heineken is the only beer that is good that way to me.
Rosco Metz
Drank Hein by the "bucketload" out of tinnies....found and tried the bottled variety very palatable and totally different....now I know what I have been missing all these years!
Ian
Nicknamed "horse's pis" in Holland, and if you ever drank it you know why.
Hilco Jonkeren.
In Thailand Heineken is our favorite beer. We like it most.
NaaM
I agree whole-heartedly with the review. Heineken is simply awful.
Doug
If it's out of a bottle and ice-cold: a refreshing and pokey drink. Far crisper and less gassy than vanilla Heneiken. Mercifically, it's NOTHING like the abomination that is known as 'Bud'.
Russ
tastes like cough medicine tainted with nail polish.
Monday Lad
Heineken Is a great beer but not from the tap in the uk because Brits have poor beer and it is brewed under licenece in the UK. Look at the head on it on the continent,taste and flavour much better. In UK but it by the bottle (brewed in Holland) and chill it. Lovely.
Colin D
Something slightly nasty about the hops they use. Still less offensive than other mass-market lagers though.
Martin Brady
Now we've started getting the real Heineken in the UK instead of the Whitbread (?) brewed inferior imitation, I don't think this is a bad beer at all and it certainly doesn't bear comparison with Budwater. Quite a fruity and smooth lager, it's very easy to drink and should be stepping stone for the poor misguided fools who drink said American style rice-drink.
Filthy the Dog
Heineken isn't that bad, but i'll take a Stella or Jupiler any day instead. In addition, Heineken is from the Netherlands and therefore evil.
Mr. P, Belgium
Heineken Export in bottles not bad but in cans you keep drinking and think this is crap! Why drink it? Well special offer in Safeway 12x500ml cans £4.99p bought 15 cases just finished last can thank god.
stella curry
come on, you dutch guy's, you all know that Heineken is piss, you just can't bear that jupiler, stella and maes is much better
joost B
Cardinal, Heineken: all piss, except piss might be better. Go for belgium beers.
Shinji
Bar none the most overrated beer in the world, many of us Americans love it, I guess its the Irish in my blood that keeps me away from this absolute piss.
RoryD
I may not be a true beer conasuir, but I've tried everything on the shelf and this is my favorite. My theory is that there are different threads of beers based on what taste a group is looking for in beers. Heineken is the best of its thread.
A True MSU Spartan
All your guys and gals do not know
how beer is made.
I like Heineken Beer, it is by far
not the best beer on this world, for me is this HERTOG JAN BEER !!!
Mister Heineken
Those of you saying that Heineken is better on the Continent are speaking with your bums - it's the same stuff now - brewed in Holland.
Billbob
I think this is a perfectly acceptable cheap beer. It's quite inoffensive tasting. Ultimately it is pretty average, and doesn't compare to Budvar or Amstel for example, but I would buy this in favour of many mass produced beers out there.
Mikey
Heineken brewed imported from Holland is a good lager. Not the best, but perfectly acceptable.
Liger
Quote "...All your guys and gals do not know how beer is made. I like Heineken Beer, it is by far not the best beer on this world, for me is this HERTOG JAN BEER !!!..."
Well, Mr Heineken, if you really believe that you know better than some of those who post here about what really makes a good beer, I suggest you share with us your credentials.
Spark's review says all that needs to be said. A very ordinary beer judged good only by those who know nothing about other beers.
Richard English
My favourite macro brew. Alot better than bud, carling, fosters etc. Quite refreshing on a hot day.
Al2001
I don`t drink beer just to get pissed (only 9 out of 10 times) and I do like the taste of it. I can be very picky too,as I come from the "worlds best beer nation!" and I can honestly say that Id tasted worse beers than Heineken in my 24 years old life!
czech chick
É boa... mas duas vezes ela me deu caganeira....
P.S.: I didn't write this in english because i dont know to translate the word "CAGANEIRA", if someone uderstand german "CAGANEIRA" is the same of "DURCHFALL"
Daniel f.
alright taste is skunker out of the bottle then the keg can but still metallic taste from can and the same prize as bottles 6.99$ u.s dollars a six pack mediocore inport......."or is it made here???"
gh567
I like it more and more. Very good beer. ***½
Marko Roy
Draught or bottled, drunk in the UK or in Holland, this is ghastly stuff. Metallic, gassy, unnaturally golden. The Heineken family should be ashamed of themselves, if they weren't too busy laughing all the way to the Bank.
Adrian Delso
The king of all lagers for me . . . but give me a bitter any day.
Beat Poet
As a dutchmen I'm living here in Belgium for more than 4 years. Indeed Belgium has a great variety of wonderful local beers. But hey, be honest, most of the people in the world don't live in Belgium. Wherever you go, there's Heineken. And nothing better than a cold Heineken on a hot day!
Fox
This beer was destroyed when made outside of The Netherlands. They now only brew it there, but the damage has been done. Flemish Belgium looks to The Netherlands for inspiration, but The Netherlands must look to Belgium for inspiration with its beer. Altogether, a very mediocre product made popular by its former glory, and international marketing.
Jean Walcker
Quote "...Wherever you go, there's Heineken..."
Sad but true. If only one could do something about its endemic properties.
Quote "...And nothing better than a cold Heineken on a hot day!..." Fortunately quite untrue. There are many hundreds of beers that are far better (although maybe not in the Netherlands - I don't know the country well enough) But in England, and Belgium - both just an hour or so away, there are hundreds of better summer beers - just try some of our milds (unknown in the Netherlands) to start with.
Why drink chemical fizz when there's beer?
Richard English
In reply to Richard English - in fact, the Netherlands enjoys a fabulous beer tradition not dissimilar to Belgium's, with a vast range of styles available. Search for 'Netherlands' on this database and you'll begin to see what I mean. There's no more reason to drink Heineken in a decent Dutch bar than there is to drink Carling in a decent UK pub.
Sparks
Quote "...the Netherlands enjoys a fabulous beer tradition not dissimilar to Belgium's..."
I am happy to be corrected. The next time I have occasion to visit the Netherlands I will do some research.
Richard English
Exported does not have the same flavor or % as it does in holland and germany. Those imported to the U.S are terrible, but those brewed in holland are very good
Dragon
About 20 years ago I first tried this, when I was young and Heineken was about the only imported beer generally available in Australian upmarket hotels. Prior to this I only knew XXXX (yugh!!). Thus I have a certain fondness for Heineken. A great beer it is not, but well brewed and drinkabble it is. 5.5 from me.
Mark, Australia
I've only had Heineken in the US, so I may not have experienced the best to be had under that name. But from what I have experienced, Heineken is purely awful beer. To put it rather ungently, Heineken tastes like ass. I FAR prefer Budweiser, Coors or even National Bohemian...they may be relatively flavorless, but better little flavor for eight bucks a twelve pack than terrible flavor for $13/12 pack. One of the few beers I might actually turn down if offered to me for free. I cannot emphasize enough how bad this beer is, and yet how inexplicibly expensive.
Matt from Maryland
NICE DRINK, SMOOTH, like it.
Nickoo
This is the favourite beer of Grenadians and Carricouans and is usually preferred to the local Carib brew. It is bland, unassuming, easy to drink and because it is an import is considered more chic than the more flavourful local beers. Which all goes to show that there is no accounting for taste as it is clearly more than the intrinsic flavours.
Larry
Heineken's marketing team are very talented. They make millions of people believe this is a great beer. Well, don't believe a word of it. Heineken is a low quality, low taste beer 'made' in vast quantities in factories. If it's the only beer on offer, drink water instead.
Mike, Holland
I have just been to Jordan where there's no beer brewed and I had to make do with the megafizz breweries' products.
I tried Heineken for the first time for ages and , I regret, found it just as foul as I remembered it. Fizzy and almost tasteless - although possibly less fizzy than Amstel
A 2 out of 10 is generous.
I also drank Amstel, Corona and Becks and my comments can be seen in the appropriate place.
Richard English
Watch people drinking Heineken in the netherlands you'll notice a difference between them and the ones who prefere Grolsch or Grimbergen or other more tasty beers: the main-function in drinking heineken seems to transport the alcohol to the head!
Harry Haegar
Heineken is now probably the best draft larger (generally) available in the UK. Since brewing ceased in the UK the product has improved no end. Not tried it in a bottle recently but I assume the above applies. Sparks review must be on a UK bottle (that was pee)
Burgo
who the heck wrote that crap up above. Heineken is the best beer ever it has a very hopsy flavor to bud my ass. ignorant people should be allowed to critique beer. stick to wine if you want to be so stuck up.
Jessica
Quote "...Heineken is now probably the best draft larger (generally) available in the UK. ..."
Which speaks volumes of the poverty of the rest of the offerings.
Although I have heard that there are a few lagers (Sam Smith's was mentioned) that are actually properly brewed.
Richard English
my favorite clubbing beer...if im out at a club they probably wont carry other decent beers so i'll go with this little diddy...remember people "heineken gets you girls" - Numayr El-Amin
Numuzzle
Quote "...remember people "heineken gets you girls" - Numayr El-Amin..."
And how, exactly, does it manage to do this? Do you use it in cavemman style and hit them over the head? Or do some of them have such poor taste and low tolerance for alcohol that they actually get drunk on the stuff?
Please do share your insight into the seductive potential of this ghastly brew.
Richard English
Kind of a soft beer but with a very tasty flavor.
Really nice beer, good for a talk with your friends. It has a nice price here in México 56 pesos -5.50 USD for a six pack PRETTY COOL!!!
ALEX GIJON
Heineken is what Americans transition to from Rolling Rock when they stop being ignorant frat-boys & start being ignorant coporate thugs. I actually hate this beer more than Miller of Bud because Heineken actually tries to pass itself off as sophisticated. I should note that because it is imported to the States it likely causes staleness not experienced in the Netherlands, so all you Dutchmen/women calm down & know that I'm just talking about what's exported from Holland. And to the guy who likes it because it's relatively cheap in Mexico?! Stick with Dos Equis or Modelo; they'll at least fresher bad beers!
Kyle Barhamand
This beer sucks as bad as Bud, Bud Light, Miller, Miller Lite, Coors, and Coors Light. Another beer that through heavy marketing (at least here in the US) tries to pass itself off as "premium" and "sophisticated". See my comments about Bud and they apply here.
Mike H.-Gulfport, MS, USA
not keen on this beer, however i do enjoy beer more than bro though
danr55
Quote "...not keen on this beer, however i do enjoy beer more than bro though..."
What's bro?
Richard English
I have never been so didappointed with any beer, as I am with your "Premium Light"! I am 71 years of age, and have been a "Heineken Lover", since I was 18 years old! Your new product, at least the case my daughter bought for me last Monday has no beer taste what so ever! It taste like the selzer water I drink! The case came from sam's Club in Sanford, Florida! It is for certain the weakest tasting so called beer that I have ever drunk! What a loser you have brewed! The numbers on the bottles are #6101528E0041!
I am truly sorry for your company and for me!
George T. Serrett
621 Albany Court
Longwood, Florida 32779
407-869-9408
PS-Your regular Heineken Beer is outstanding, but your new "Light" is a shame to sell to the public! I also enjoy a good "Light Beer", but not yours!
George Thomas Serrett
Now Heineken in the UK is imported and 5%, I think it's a decent, refreshing everyday lager. The old brewed under license 3.4% stuff was atrocious!
TomD
I have just returend from Spain where the only beer available (apart from a few bars where Guinness was sold) was this apology. The only thing that could be said was that it had marginally more flavour than St Miguel.
A bit like comparing two different brands of bottled water, really.
Richard English
Heineken is simply a beer for those of us whose tastebuds are stimulated by skunky persona.
When I was a kid, I liked the smell of a skunk, (from a distance) when I grew up, I like to smoke skunky persona, now I also like to drink it. Hail hail to skunky stuff!
kralenpregn
Drink enough, and it will get you drunk. Not much else to say about it, though. The comparison to Bud is fair, but, at least the taste doesnt make you want to hurl (like Bud does). My last resort at redneck bars where the choices are limited to selections like Miller lite, Bud, Bud light and Hiney.
Samuel Jackson
A serious question---what happened to this beer? This beer tasted so different 15 or 20 years ago...is there an explanation for this? or did I just learn about drinking good beers? I still believe that the bitter hoppy taste somehow is gone...please, someone speak out..(I never did like this stuff that much....but now it's even worse...and not to insult you folks that like this rubbish, but it is absolute crap, really...(drinking it now because my friend left some in my cooler--I ran out of German lager)). If you seek good Pilsner and lagers don't go so far west--unless you seek ales.
Petey
Okay...I am off this website for a while...too many military guys that think they know something about beer because they were stationed in Frankfurt in 1967, or tasted a Bitburger on a train to Hamburg...or yuppies that like the “great crisp cool freshness of a Heineken.” Regulate these guys and give them a quiz before they are allowed on this forum.
Petey
lOVE IT. HEINEKEN IS NUMBER ONE BEER IN FRENCH GUIANA (SOUTH AMERICA)
PASCAL
Quote, "...lOVE IT. HEINEKEN IS NUMBER ONE BEER IN FRENCH GUIANA (SOUTH AMERICA)..."
That says a great deal about the lack of quality beers in French Guiana - if this apology for a beer is the best, then there must be some real rubbish there.
Richard English
Awful. Very little taste. Don't know why it ever became well known outside of Holland.
Bart
Quote, "...Don't know why it ever became well known outside of Holland..."
Promotion. It's the reason for the success of all chemical fizz.
Richard English
this is the only beer that i drink. i normally have it for breakfast.
tasha
Quote, "...this is the only beer that i drink. i normally have it for breakfast...."
Maybe it's time you tried a few other beers, then. there are many that are far superior.
Richard English
Its truly exported into the UK. Its better than Stella brewed in Warrington or where ever and if its on offer in the supermarket its not too bad. Have it cold.
bigfer
This is the best brew i know. and i know many
Snorri
Quote "...This is the best brew i know. and i know many..."
Maybe you could enlighten us as to that large number of beers of your acquaintance that are so very much poorer than this sad example of the brewer's art. Then those connoisseurs that post here might be able to give you some advice as to where to find some really fine-tasting beer - not the chemical fizz that you must surely have been drinking.
Richard English
Often compared to Amstel. Tried this once and did nothing for me. Worse than Amstel.
David
They keep advertising this lager on TV. No idea why, a truely bad lager. One to avoid in every situation.
David, Guildford
Quote "...They keep advertising this lager on TV. No idea why, a truely bad lager. One to avoid in every situation.
David, Guildford..."
They advertise it to try to persuade the unknowing and unthinking that this rubbish is beer.
Richard English
I used to think Heineken was dreadful dishwater till I tried it in Amsterdam. The Dutch version is pleasant and can be tasted. As usual, the "brewed under licence in the UK" version is totally bland and tasteless, nothing like the original. When will Continental brewers realise that UK chemical factories just get their beers a bad reputation?
AK
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